So, for those of you who missed it last night, here is a quick round-up of what happened at last nights Eurovision…
- UK: The Hump gave a lovely, but soon to be forgotten, performance dressed all in black.
- Hungary: Some leathered up boys sing a dodgy power ballad accompanied by the obligatory 40-something over-enthusiastic keyboard player.
- Albania: THERE’S A SNAKE ON YOUR CHEST, A SNAKE!!!!! Oh, wait. It’s your hair.
- Lithuania: Love is blind, and also apparently deaf. Would have been so much funnier if everyone left before he took his blindfold off.
- Bosnia and Herzegovina: Elle MacPherson lookalike reminded me I really need to pluck my eyebrows.
- Russia: Who could resist a bunch of Grannies, in their slippers singing “come on and dance boom boom.” Plus I think they may have made biscuits. Smart.
- Iceland: Ken sings to Goth-Barbie
- Cyprus: The dress was small and there was bouncing. Mr B put his paper down for the first time all night.
- France: Jean Paul Gaultier and gymnasts. What’s not to like?
- Italy: Amy Winehouse lookey likey…only healthier
- Estonia: I think I dropped off
- Norway: Zzzzzzz
- Azerbaijan: Appropriately titled “When the music dies”. It just did.
- Romania: The Venga Boys go for a moonwalk, and I think they stole Gok Wan.
- Denmark: Art students. “Should have known better”…Well DUH!
- Greece: I know there is a financial crisis but it would appear their budget ran out halfway through making her dress.
- Sweden: CLAUDIA WINKLEMAN IN MC HAMMER PANTS DOING THE CRAB WALK! GENIUS!
- Turkey: This is what happens when you cross Twilight with the cast of Fiddler on the Roof.
- Spain: I think her bun may have been holding her face-up.
- Germany: Berlinieber.
- Malta: Fancy footwork from a guy wearing one yellow leather fingerless glove…actually that now sounds kind of creepy.
- Macedonia: She just made it in time, got held up at the office, didn’t have time to change.
- Ireland: Jedward. Kind of hilarious watching two twins so COMPLETELY out of sync. The irony. On the plus side they will fetch a good price from ‘Cash for Gold’.
- Serbia: Sorry, still doubled up from Jedward, missed it.
- Ukraine: Nice showercap.
- Moldova: Ed Norton did a little jig wearing Lederhosen. Nice.
So there you have it folks. What a night!
Congrats to Claudia though. You rocked. HAMMER TIME