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Dear So and So…

May 7, 2015 By jbmumofone 5 Comments

Dear Man in the cafe,

I am truly sorry that my son announced “Look Mummy, that man doesn’t know that too much food and no exercise makes you fat” whilst staring at you this week.  I can only apologise and assure you that if I could have ordered the ground to swallow me up right then and there I would have done so.  A hasty exit was my next best alternative so, being possible and all, I opted for this.

Yours truly,

An embarrassed mother.

 

Dear Little Miss,

I love you dearly, I promise, and I do REALLY love to spend time with you, but not at three in the morning, every morning, when you decide to announce you’ve had a poo, which you invariably haven’t but you know it is enough to make me come and investigate, where I find you grinning like a demon as you have once again managed to get both arms out of your pyjama top and insert them through the head hole like some kind of deranged stuntman.

It was (almost) funny the first time.

Now, not so much.

With hope,

Your exhausted mother.

 

Dear Retired Lady in the queue,

Whilst I understand that you have no need to rush, you are retired after all, do you really need to spend twenty-seven minutes packing your shopping at the check out.  A quick glance at the ever increasing queue behind you must have given you an inkling that the rest of us poor shoppers actually ARE on a limited timescale, needing to get back to work and had only popped in for an emergency item.  

I completely understand that you need to pack your items in EXACTLY the right order and, of course, that your husband clearly keeps getting this wrong, but was the five minute discussion with the shop assistant about the new traffic lights really necessary afterwards?

Really?

Yours hungrily,

A working mother.

 

Dear Chin,

I am becoming increasingly concerned at the number of rogue spikey hairs you keep producing at random intervals.  I am taking action.  Prepare to be lasered.

Yours determinedly,

Me.


Dear So and So at Mummy from the Heart

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Comments

  1. Michael Cargill says

    May 7, 2015 at 19:35

    I’m exhausted from reading them.

    You must be utterly spent.

    Reply
  2. Michelle Twin Mum says

    May 7, 2015 at 21:15

    Ohh Jenny, 27 minutes to pack her shopping, that is awful! and I had my first rouge hair last year, spotted by Anya it caused her great amusement! Mich x

    Reply
  3. STACY SORRELL says

    May 8, 2015 at 08:42

    haha the 3am Poo call sounds exactly like my daughter…. also 3. it must be an age thing 🙂

    Reply
  4. Margaret says

    May 8, 2015 at 11:03

    So funny, write to a few more people please.

    Reply
  5. Cupcake Mumma says

    May 9, 2015 at 13:41

    Ah all the fun at bedtime sigh! Kids can really do a number in public can’t they! So embarrassing sometimes!

    Reply

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