Pretty awful title I know.
Is it distasteful to blog about death? I am not sure.
I recently lost an uncle to lung-cancer. He had been a confirmed smoker, drinker, and perhaps partaker of other substances for all of his adult life.
He was the youngest boy of a family of seven children, second youngest overall. You could say he was a ‘black-sheep’…but he was loved. Loved by his parents, loved by his siblings, and loved at times by us, his nephews and nieces. He was also a total pain in the arse to all of the above on many occasions when a little too much drink was in him.
He was, I think, also a mostly absent father to his two children. Both of which have turned out to be two of the most awesome, intelligent, kind-hearted people I know.
My uncle was always creative. He was able to recite the entire ‘Jabberwocky’ at me and just loved Tolkien. He loved literature. And good literature at that. He could be quite critical of bad writing. Apparently he wrote, and illustrated, a few books of his own for his two children when they were very small. No-one knows where they are now.
He also loved music. A trait shared wholeheartedly by most of his siblings, my Dad and his sister G especially. Apparently this was a favourite…
His taste got a little more eclectic…you will have to read on…
He is gone.
And that scares me a little.
Although not unexpected it is still frightening that he was here, and now he isn’t. And it makes me extremely sad. His siblings more so. I have no idea what his children must be going through as he really has been no help to them in their lives that I am aware of.
But he is …gone.
It makes me sad.
I think he really missed his mum. My granny.
I hope he is with her now.
She always knew what to do with him. And is bound to have a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich at the ready.
And open arms.
This is the other song he loved. I have NO IDEA what it’s about but this ones for you Uncle P…you may not wish to hit play readers.
But for me, this poem will always make me think of you. You probably understood it. I never did. But you never failed to enthrall me with it. Rest well now x
The Jabberwocky-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought–
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arm, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.
‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe
Michael Cargill says
I don’t think it is distasteful to write about death. It depends entirely on the context and the motives for it.
Sorry for your loss.
That second song really is a bit bonkers though.
I know….I can’t even begin to explain it???
I’m sorry for your loss, I like that you wrote about his life to celebrate it, it was a sad read. I lost my aunt just before Christmas and it’s so hard to think that they will no longer be around, it broke my mum at the time but slowly she is getting used to the idea of her being with her mum. Time is a healer but we will never forget x
I am so sorry about your aunt. It is awful to watch a parent grieve…I can’t imagine losing my sister. Time heals I guess. Thanks so much for commenting x
This made me shed a little tear, I want to bring my secret supply of hobnobs round and share them with you over a cuppa and a hug.
It’s not distasteful to blog about death, if anything, for me personally I find it commendable – especially when it’s written so eloquently as this post is.
And remember there is no right and wrong when it comes of what to blog about, it’s about you – your space to express yourself about whatever you choose x
Bring the hobnobs in March missus x
Well said Mammasaurus. @jbmumofone AKA my beautiful cousin…. it is a beautiful post. x
Thank you x
Am so sorry for your loss.
You know I never even thought about it when I did mine and then in my baby names I just linked it because it was linked – did you feel it not appropriate? Pretty new to this and wouldn’t want to upset anyone.
Yours is a beautiful post xx
Darling, you didn’t upset me? Not sure what you felt was inappropriate but I have always enjoyed reading your stuff. Nothing has been inappropriate.
I see nothing wrong in what you’ve written and don’t find it distasteful. I really enjoyed reading it in a way. I like that it was an honest account of his life. I am sorry to hear about it though, of course you feel sad. It feels to me that you’ve written from the heart.
Thanks Alex. I really appreciate that. Means a lot x
from fun to mum says
don’t worry about what you write and how people will take it. they are your thoughts, so they are what your blog is about. sorry for your loss, hope he is with with his mum now too.
I really hope so. x
I too recently lost an uncle diagnosed with a rare brain cancer, which took his life a month later. He was perhaps the same, drunk and smoked to much but a very kind hearted man all the same and sadly missed (funny enough he was also one of 7 siblings and I’m guessing his mum, my nanna had a sandwich and cuppa waiting for him) he loved Elvis (a little too much lol)
Very sorry for your lose. xx
Oh I am sorry to hear that. Thanks for your comment x
Asturian Diary says
What a beautiful post. Surely writing honestly about the things that mean something to you is at least half the point of having a blog? Death and bereavement are subjects that touch us all. And no matter how ‘expected’ a death is it still stirs up all sorts of unexpected turmoil in us. My thoughts are with you. x
Thanks so much x
I’m so sorry chicken. I remember a very fun afternoon spent in the pub with Uncle P. He was a great character. Give your dad my best, won’t you. X
I will darling, thank you x
Nicely written, missus. Not distasteful at all. You celebrate your feelings for him with eloquence and dignity. So sorry *hugs* *kisses* thinking of you X X X
Thank you, will speak soon x
Again, sincere condolences. This is a lovely tribute to him.
Thank you, and for your tweet x
Actually Mummy... says
I think it’s fine to blog about death, whatever you are feeling is worth writing on your blog. And I totally agree with you about the wierd feeling. When my Dad died it felt utterly impossible that he wasn’t anywhere any more. I woke up one morning and said ‘Where the hell is he?’ because it just felt so surreal. You expect grief for the absence of a loved one, and sorrow for the pain and fear they must have experienced, but no-one tells you just how odd the whole concept feels. It does wear off, but it changes you.