I began the new year setting out some fairly straightforward resolutions and am pleased to say that I have started off fairly well.
Mr B and I managed to avoid opening a bottle of wine until the weekend and we completed four sessions of Insanity so, although I have not yet stepped on the scales, I am feeling hopeful that the dreaded flab will be somewhat diminished.
Today we managed to pick up some brand new pillows so I plan to pop out and get some protectors tomorrow and we can finally be rid of our stinky old ones. With my birthday not too far away new bedding is now at the top of my wish-list.
I have managed to get one quote for damp-coursing the downstairs which was, as I feared, pretty astronomical, so another plan for tomorrow is to try and arrange a few more and see what we can arrange.
Strangely it is not the disruption of the damp-coursing and subsequent plastering that I dread the most, it is afterwards. New walls means decorating…and it is not something I am any good at. It is a trait that I fear I have inherited from my Father. (Sorry Dad.)
He was once left in charge of re-painting the downstairs loo. After assuring my Mum that he had chosen a very subtle shade of ‘apple-white’ he sent us out for the day and set about his task. On our return we were somewhat amazed as a luminous-nuclear-green glow emanated from around the door. Four coats of white paint later and you could still just about detect the glow if you looked hard enough. Or turned the lights off.
Many years later they decided to refit their kitchen. The loo-incident clearly vanquished from her memory, and after making every single other decision herself, my Mum decided to let Dad pick the flooring. “Well dear, they do have to feel that their opinions count sometimes.”
It was a task he set about with vigour. Stores were visited. He spent hours poring over tiles and vinyl flooring online. Samples were ordered, laid out, arranged, re-arranged and scrutinised for days. Finally a decision was made. His decision.
I had the misfortune of being left holding the fort the day they came to lay that floor. Mum had left me with VERY specific instructions as to which way the rectangular tiles were to be laid. Only I wasn’t feeling very well. And perhaps wasn’t really listening very well either. When the chaps arrived I was still not feeling well and, desperate to return to my bed and hide from the world a little longer, I hurriedly made them some tea and left them to it. And I am pretty sure I gave them Mum’s instructions.
On venturing back downstairs later that day I got somewhat of a shock. It appeared that in my absence some strange breed of vegetarian dragon had arrived, and vomited, all over the kitchen floor. At least that’s what it looked like. And, horror of horrors, the vomit tiles were lying the wrong way round.
This, however, proved to be a blessing in disguise. Mum, predictably, hated the new tiles and, after assuring the shop that despite her specific instructions, *coughs*, the tiles had been laid wrongly. They were extremely helpful and offered to rectify this immediately. She also managed to charm them into letting her swap the tiles for a somewhat plainer version.
This unfortunate lack of taste when it comes to home-decor is something that has almost certainly been passed on. Despite trying out hundreds of paint samples the two rooms that I have been left in charge of, the dining room and the guest bedroom, are currently horrific shades of hospital-green and korma-yellow respectively.
I think I will be leaving Mr B in charge.
It is important that he knows his opinion counts after all.
What are your worst decorating disasters? Do let me know….and ease my pain a little.
Disclosure: This post is brought to you in association with Carpetright although all words are my own, obviously! Please see my PR and disclosure policy for more details.
I have terrible trouble when it comes to choosing neutrals. Give me a colour and I’ll know exactly what I want and I’ll find it, but when my husband decided our living room should be “brown” I pretty much ended up buying every tester pot known to man – and I don’t like it!! We’re redecorating this year and its going to be green.
I had terrible trouble choosing green! Good luck. If it turns out ok will you send me a sample?
Michael Cargill says
I haven’t had any disasters, mainly ‘cos I try to avoid doing it in the first place.
Have you been giving Mr B lessons? He is in total avoidance mode.
I am planning to paint our hallway and bedroom, in grey and duckegg. I’ll let you know about any disasters 😉
Oooh duck egg sounds lovely. I could quite fancy this in the dining room. Let me know how you get on.
Laura @ Kneadwhine says
Ouch! I’m really indecisive about decorating for the same reason.
LOL I am SO BAD at it!
A vegetarian dragons vomit – a most vivid of descriptions! It’s picking white that gets me – since when was white so many different colours?
Hellie's Corner says
Happily I can say none, we have changed our minds about a colour over the years but always liked it at the time. Good luck with your decorating.
Mummy of Two says
Oh dear! I try not to go for anything too imaginative and that way stay pretty safe and avoid any major disasters! I would love to be good at that sort of thing!
Oh this is too funny! My dad was really good at DIY and I loved helping him so unfortunately no DIY tales of disaster from me… but I have to say I still rely on my dad’s advice and support so if left alone I’d probably make a huge mess!
Michelle Ordever says
I think the worst disaster we’ve had is when our cat got out of the holding room and decided to brush up against some wet skirting…paint marks everywhere!
Sim @ Sims Life says
You have made a good start with your resolutions – the DIY disasters don’t sound good though! I have a thing of painting – I start with all the best intentions and then 10 minutes in get bored and tend to paint everything just to get it over and done with!
Ali Clifford says
love that, had to chuckle, I actually CHOSE a lime green for my kitchen in my flat years ago… I rather liked it!
I did once trip over carrying a 2.5 litre tin of white emulsion, spilling it over a really hideous carpet that I didn’t like. We’d only lived there for 2 days and it was a genuine* mistake on my part.
Donna @ Little Lilypad Co says
My grandad and Dad were always great decorators and I have to admit, I do ask my Dad round to “help” to avoid potential disaster 🙂
Boo Roo and Tigger Too says
I once selected a turquoise for our hallway, I showed the colour chart to hubby and he yes ‘lovely dear’ so the next day I bought it and painted the hallway. He came home and asked what on earth I had done, I explained I had shown the colour last night… ‘you don’t think I was actually listening do you?’. Lesson learnt, let him chose the colours!
maggy, red ted art says
Hahaha this is why we don’t do much DIY!!
ET Speaks From Home says
my son puke curry on the carpet! My carpet from cream to orange! charming!
Jenni Clutten says
Loving the sound of those floor tiles, surely a one off design!? I have to admit it took me forever to choose a bathroom paint in our last time and in the end, after at least 4 alternative we just went for brilliant white. In general I love diy and design, I just wish I had more time to do it. Happy to help if you need any pointers 🙂
We play it very safe when it comes to decorating, so we haven’t had any disasters although I do think that our house looks rather boring sometimes. I’d love a nice flowery feature wall but I’m not brave enough!
Emma (My Little 3 and Me) says
Lol. Those tiles sound hilarious! My worst choice was as a girl when I picked dark brown walls for my bedroom. I thought it would be cosy but it was like sleeping in a big poo!
Oh this made me laugh – vomit green and korma yellow. I actually chose a bedroom colour which looked like milky coffee in the shop, and like….I can’t think of a PG-13 analogy for the colour, but you get the idea. For better or worse my OH has no taste or skill when it comes to household decor – so it just gets kind of fudged – but we call it home 🙂
PODcast (@The_Doves) says
What a great end to your post – sounds like the outcome could have been very different! It did make me laugh a little! I’m sure we’ve had some DIY disasters – spilling paint on the carpet is probably a good starting point!
I’m about to start decorating our hall way, in a dark house but a reasonably new one which is currently totally Magnolia. Problem is, magnolia *works* in dark houses. But I hate it. So what instead??? Analysis paralysis here…
My husband once tried to put up a curtain rail and we ended up having to call a plasterer to fill in the MASSIVE hole in the wall x
I hate DIY and am petrified of colour, so most of our walls are white. We decorated a bedroom last year and I decided o be ‘different’ and painted the walls grey. I expected to be a disaster but actually it wasn’t too bad at all so maybe I should be more confident but stay away from glow-in-the-dark apple white 🙂
Emma (@emvanstone) says
We once painted our bedroom BRIGHT ORANGE…it was half price…
Aisha from expatlog says
That made me laugh – I love your storytelling style!
Luckily we’ve not had any major disasters. However, hubby does have the habit of starting a project then moving onto something else. We have not got a completed room in the house!
We recently changed the former owners sage green (including the vaulted ceiling!) to a Kilm Beige, which is beautiful. BUT I made the mistake of purchasing curtains that pretty much BLEND with the walls. UGH!! (When hubby is away on business, I plan to use the RIT DYE Color Remover. White would look much better!
That doesn’t sound so bad Patty…and is it bad that I think Sage green walls sound kinda cool? It is isn’t it? Yep definitely leaving the husband in charge here.