Grey

Today has been a grey day.

Not the weather, although that has been exceedingly grey too, but mentally today has been grey.

I have that horrible, all too familiar, slightly uncomfortable, think there is something really important have forgotten to do but can’t remember what it is, stomach-churning, eye-stinging, tear-welling, grey feeling.

This sometimes hails the start, re-start, of depression.

I have spent all day trying to rationalise it away.  Today has not been a bad day.  It has been a nice day.  Me, Mr B and W together for a change with not too many jobs to do.  So WHY am I feeling like this?

I had a lovely weekend.  My folks were here and we had fun, I had a lie-in, two actually, so all good there.  Nothing has changed at work or at home.  Cybher is looming and I am a bit nervous but that isn’t it.

I know it is pointless searching for an explanation.  There never is one.  It sometimes just re-appears and steals my time, my energy, my life, for a short while.

I just hope I can hold it at bay this time.

Grey is my LEAST favourite colour.