People say that your life changes forever when you become a parent. It is true. And the parenting skills that you develop are
beyond your wildest imaginings quite frankly astonishing. Below is my list of the top ten parenting skills that I never dreamed I would have but that show me, beyond any doubt, that I’m a parent.
- The ability to eat, and chop food, one-handed. The other will invariably be either holding or restraining the baby or toddler respectively.
- The ability to not even notice that the CD has been stuck and repeating the same line of a song several hundred times. Mere audio-normality now.
- The ability, when there is a sheer lack of a respectable alternative, to eat my child’s bogey, or half chewed sandwich, when handed it and not retch.
- The ability to spot a ‘poo-face’ from the other side of a crowded room and…
- The ability to whisk a small child to a bathroom faster than most people can blink.
- The common sense to never, ever, leave the house without wet-wipes…
- Or to go on holiday without Calpol.
- The ability to remove crayon from walls/cupboards/sofas/carpets in the least destructive manner and…
- The tolerance to cope when despite all of your best efforts it still won’t shift.
- The ability to hear, and discriminate, your own child’s cry, no matter how quiet, in a room full of screaming children within seconds.
How about you? What parenting skills have you developed that you never thought you would have? I would love to know.
Michael Cargill says
I laughed at the poo face one.
It is a definite look, not quite Blue Steel, but definite all the same.
Cat (Yellow Days) says
I’m very proud of my ability to concoct convincing lies with a straight face under a toddler grilling. ‘You don’t like cottage pie? Luckily this is special bolognaise with carrots’, ‘Oh no, I think you finished all the buttons yesterday’, ‘Actually I just called that man in the Audi “a Santa”…he had a big beard’
Ha ha. I am with you. ‘No darling, that isn’t a mushroom, it’s bacon.”
Haha, I’m with Cat. I come up with the most ridiculous lies and they really seem to convince Amy. So bad, isn’t it? 😉
Also, never underestimate the skill of having lots of pens and paper in your bag at all times. Always comes in handy…
Very true! And a pot of bubbles, although I always end up with slimy hands.
Haha! We once had some friends who didn’t have kids over for lunch. A toy duck string go stuck so that it kept making a ‘whack whack whack’ noise. Needless to say, we hardly noticed but after about 10 minutes they politely asked what it was.
It is amazing how adept you become at tuning things out isn’t it?
Helen Neale says
Love it sweetie – and all so true! And don’t forget the ability to find 101 uses for Wet Wipes that don’t actually involve bottoms! Thanks for linking up to the Parenting Pin it Party, but then as you manage it rather well, I guess I would find you here 😉
Wet wipes are perhaps the greatest invention ever.
Too true! It makes me laugh how I can tune out all noise now . . . and recognize those poo faces!
We are not alone 🙂
oh yes the joys of motherhood! But you know i am happy i did too 🙂
Me too honey, and your girls are just beautiful.
Haha.. the last few got me – crayon I can deal with, biro not so much!!! (Yes we’ve had that this week, I am learning tolerance!!)
Deep breaths. *Passes gin.*
maggy, red ted art says
I almost spat out my tea at “eat my child’s bogey”…. WOW!!!!!!!
*Coughs* There really wasn’t an alternative that I could see. *Hangs head in shame.*
Em @ snowingindoors says
A very true and entertaining list!!
Hellie's Corner says
Funny list 😀
Thank you. I am only half-joking.
Liz Burton says
Haha brilliant list! Especially the ‘poo face’. We can all recognise that in our own child!
I am so going to try and mimic a poo face next time I see you at a blogging do…
Ha, these made me laugh!!!!
Nayna Kanabar says
Looks like you have passed your being a parent exam with flying colours.:)
Actually Mummy says
Number 3? Seriously??? You’re made of stronger stuff than me!
Mummy of Two says
LOL such a true post. I totally get number 1 and 4 but don’t think I will ever master 3!
Trish - Mum's Gone to says
I love this list and the others people have mentioned in the comments, particularly the food fibs!
I can safely say I have never ate my childrens boogie! I do draw the lines sometimes
Katy Hill says
LOVE this! I too have eaten bogey. Yup – as a baby my daughter was SO bunged up and I felt SO helpless I just sucked it out! Now THERE’S love for you! As a parent I always feel like a swan… serene on the surface, paddling like mad below! That said, sometimes I don’t look so “swan” on the school run – more ugly duckling who wondered how the hell she made it to the school gate that morning! Fab post x
I never thought that I would get to the stage where I can be in the car on my own listening to the CBeebies CD and it can be a good 10 mins before I realise I could actually turn it off!
Boo Roo and Tigger Too says
Nodding to them all, parenting is a funny thing
Becky Goddard-Hill (@babybudgeting) says
Have you really knowingly ate their bogey *impressed*
I’m able to produce any single thing my children ask for at the drop of a hat. Luckily they usually want raisins, a wet wipe or an iPad, but I like to think this is an achievement.
I draw the line at eating bogies I’m afraid – big kudos to you for that one but yes, I know my kids cries without fail, great list
Hannah Staveley says
All so true love it .x
mellissa williams says
As my son is older, the ability to shout up the stairs at a decibel louder than I thought possible! “wake up or you will be late for school!”
So so true… Every single one! 😀
Laura Halls says
Lol so true I did laugh at the poo face too
I found myself lying quite convincingly that the tooth fairy doesn’t work bank holidays/ was having a day off/ doesn’t visit naughty boys and girls when I usually forget about the necessary visit.
Healthier Mummy says
I’m with you on all of these – except for the bogies, I’m afraid. I’ve also mastered the ability to clear up all bodily wastes from carpets, and copy pictures of Disney princesses/ Hello Kitty with fair accuracy.
Kate Williams says
Oh I’m a large scale fibber these days! I’ve also spent the entire day today discussing poo, people we know that do poo, what it looks like, how it feels, why its ok, why we shouldn’t touch it… I’m living the dream over here I tell ya!
PODcast (@The_Doves) says
Brilliant and so true! Wipes should be in there too – remember using them to remove green poo from toddler’s hair after she rolled down a hill. Was so proud with what I’d achieved. Ten minutes later she told a stranger she had poo in her hair! Gotta love ’em!
The Egyptian Mummy says
These are so true! The poo face especially! I never thought I would be that parent singing nursery rhymes in public, but I have been spotted a number of times singing “Teddy plays on the swing” at the top of my lungs while walking down the high street. CRINGE.
Brilliant! A yes,the essential parenting skills no one warned you about…
Shell Louise says
Umm it has to be a no to the bogies I’m afraid but big yes to everything else!
I draw the line at bogeys – even the sandwich if I’m honest 🙂
This is so true – mine is to identify that destructive silence that comes when they are doing something they shouldn’t!
Claire Toplis says
It’s superhuman ..
you have to match them.\Toddlers want to rule the world.
The ability to zone out when kids tv is on. It sometimes takes me 20 mins to realise that everyone else has left the room yet I am still watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates.
Emily @amummytoo says
Ahahahhahaa. I was with you every point apart from the bogey eating!
Emma (@emvanstone) says
*laughing* I don’t think I could eat a bogey without retching 🙂