“A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer.” – Unknown.
Are we nearly there yet?
Just five little words. Those five little words that will fill anyone who has traveled with a small child in tow with a sense of dread, plus an added dose of despondency.
I used to love flying. Mr B and I pre-kids have enjoyed flights to New York, (Visiting the Big Apple was one of my favourite trips.) to Canada, to Alaska and beyond. I loved everything about it. A cheeky glass of wine in the airport bar. Leisurely browsing through the duty-free fragrances. Eagerly devouring the in-flight magazine looking at exotic new places that I have never been. I even love the in-flight meal. I’m not kidding. There is something truly satisfying about those little seperate sections of food and the excitement of peeling back the foil and trying to guess the origin of the unidentifiable meat before you.
Post-children travelling has been somewhat more challenging but, not one to shy away from a challenge, I was determined that our flight home from Greece would not end in the usual parental despair and misery. (We had been lucky enough to have Granny and Grandad as back-up on the way out which had helped hugely.)
Preparation was key I thought, so I set about preparing months ago. I bought books, I bought puzzles, I bought enough snacks to feed twelve grown men for a week. I bought stickers, I bought gadgets, I even packed ‘Gruffalo-snap.’ I filled my precious kindle with countless episodes of C-Beebies and even downloaded a colouring-in app. Determined not to let something as simple as a technological breakdown beat me I then downloaded it all again to my phone. I even snuck a few on to Mr B’s phone too. I think he may have cottoned on to this as his much-treasured i-pod was nowhere to be found and then magically reappeared on the plane.
That had to be enough to amuse one toddler on the relatively short trip home right?
Wrong.
So very wrong.
This is a highly condensed version of our journey. (If you are about to embark on a family holiday you may wish to look away now.)
In the taxi to the airport:
The boy: Are we at the airport yet?
Me: No sweetheart, we only just left. We are on our way there now though.
The boy: Why aren’t we at the airport yet?
Me: Because darling the airport isn’t right next to the hotel remember? We have to drive there. It is a little way away yet. Why don’t you close your eyes and have a little nap.
Driver: *Smiles conspiratorially at me in a ‘kids are so funny aren’t they?’ kind of way.*
Me: *Flicks hair and smiles back in what I hope is a winning fashion thinking ‘Brace yourself mate, we have another forty minutes to go yet.*
The boy: Are we at the airport now?
Me: No. Not yet.
The boy: Why are we not at the airport yet?
Me: As I said, it is quite a way away.
The boy: Why?
Little Miss: Da da da da da da da da
The boy: Mummy?
Me: Yes?
The boy: Are we at the airport yet?
Me: *Smiles sheepishly at now stoney-faced taxi driver and begins to twiddle hair in a nervous fashion.*
At the airport:
The boy: Mummy why can’t we get on the plane yet?
Me: Because we have to check in first.
The boy: Why?
Me: So they know we’re here and don’t leave us behind.
The boy: Mummy, please can we get on the plane now?
Me: Not yet sweetheart. It’s not ready.
The boy: Why is it not ready?
Me: It doesn’t have any petrol yet.
The boy: Why?
Me: *Begins to pull gently at hair.* They haven’t had time yet.
The boy: Why did they not have time yet?
Little Miss: Da da da da da da da da da da.
The boy: Mummy can we get on the plane yet?
On the plane:
The boy: Mummy why aren’t we up in the air yet?
The boy: Mummy why haven’t they brought me crisps yet?
The boy: Mummy why can’t I walk around yet?
The boy: Mummy why aren’t we at home yet?
Little Miss: Da da da da da da da da da da da da.
Baggage control:
The boy: Mummy why aren’t our bags here yet?
The boy: Mummy why aren’t our bags here yet?
The boy: Mummy why aren’t our bags here yet?
Little Miss: Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.
In the taxi home:
The boy: Mummy are we at home yet?
The boy: Mummy why aren’t we home yet?
The boy: Mummy why is he not getting us home yet?
Little Miss: Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.
The boy: Mummy are we home yet?
Me: *Smiles sheepishly at rage-faced driver and thinks ‘Well at least he hasn’t said…’*
The boy: Mummy, are we nearly there yet?
Me: *Tugs at hair.*
Walking through the door:
The boy: Mummy, can we go back to Greece yet?
Me: *Rips out hair.*
Disclosure: This post is brought to you in collaboration with Dial A Flight however all words are my own. Sadly. Please see my PR and Disclosure policy for further details.
hahahaha, have SO been there! I hope the holiday was worth it! 🙂
Seriously, I need another one just to get over that journey.
Hehe. Been there. Particular low when all the passengers were filing off the plane past my (fimally) passed out children, a woman rested her hand on my shoulder and let me know that she had been “praying for yer” during the flight. Classic.
LOL that is brilliant.
Oh it’s a joy isn’t it? So much easier as they get older though, I promise! 🙂
Oh man, I NEED to believe that is true.
Brilliant, so different from our flight out, but you have to love his consistency !! Reminds Dad and I of our trips to Swanage, so we know who he takes after.
I can’t imagine what you mean! *whistles*
Heh heh heh I hope you waited until he fell asleep and woke him to ask if he was nearly sleep yet ? 😉
Hahaha it’s the endless endless questions. Drive you slowly insane. I don’t think people without kids get it. At all.
Aaaagh! I feel your pain. I’m not sure it gets much easier when they’re older. Hmm, wonder why we don’t really go on foreign holidays…
We’ve never had a family holiday but I do remember the fights me and my brother used to have in the car on our way to Cornwall or Devon each year.We used to travel at night as my dad was night worker so it was dangerous for him drive during the day as he would fall asleep, which he did often.
*weeps* I should have heeded your advice and not read this until after our upcoming THIRTY HOUR FLIGHTS! I’m sure it’ll get easier next time you do it though 😉 x
Eek…I did warn you!
oh yes. Deep deep joy!!! Brilliantly written adn something that so many of us can totally relate to!
oh yes so relate to this
Ha ha, we have that pleasure coming soon. xx
Good luck!
Our eldest was asking almost the same questions in our last trip. although she was just talking and asking about everything! What can we do? We will look back when they are older and we will smile.
thai you for linking up this week lovely x
I feel ALL your pain my dear – so been there, done that, got the bald head! Thanks so much for joining in with the Parenting Pin it Party this week my lovely, and for running it too! xx