I’m SO NOT a celebrity.

This new meme is the work of the wonderful Kate on Thin Ice.  She has a stupendous blog so do pop on over and show her some love.  I have, very kindly, been tagged in this by the equally stupendous Hello It’s Gemma.  Now you MUST head on over to her blog.  It is truly awesome.

So what is this one going to involve?  Well it is in the style of the ITV travesty that is ‘I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!’  So, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and now picture me emerging from my daily bathe in the rock pool, M&S red bikini on, slim, sexy…..too far?  Yep, bit too much of a stretch for the imagination eh.

On with the task in hand.  See, I AM good at tasks after all.  Bring on the stars and I will keep that camp fed good and proper.  So, Kate’s rules…

1. Answer the ten questions and consider the mission.

2. Tag a blogger or two more to do the same.

3. Go back to the blog that tagged you and let them know that you have completed your mission successfully.

Ok.  Bandana on? Check. Secretly bitched about camp-mates to camera? Check.  Chest out, tummy in? Check.  Bring it on…

1. What one thing about being a parent makes you scream ‘Get Me Out Of Here!’

The early starts.  The old me would NEVER understand how I could possibly consider 7:30am to be a lie-in.

2. What skills, if any, do you have that would be useful in the jungle?

I clean a lot.  Would that help?  Probably not.  I would most likely drive them mad with my OCD and then they may torture me with their tribal spears.  Ouch.

3. How are you likely to annoy people if you were stuck with them for three weeks?

See above.  And by repeatedly showing them photos of my son.  I NEVER get bored of that.  And obviously no-one will have ever seen a kid as cool as mine, no way.

4. What is the worst thing you have ever eaten?

Banana.  Jeez the jungle is really not a natural habitat for me.

5. What luxury item would you take into the jungle with you?

Definitely tweezers, or within a week would be sporting a magnificent mono-brow.

6. What is the most daring thing you have ever done.

I am such a wimp.  I don’t really do daring.  On our honeymoon we flew over an Alaskan glacier in the smallest plane in the world.  That was pretty scary but amazing.  The expression on my face at take-off pretty much says it all…

7. Who would you miss most if you went into the jungle with a bunch of strangers?

My son.  And Mr B.  And phoning my Mum.

8. What celebrity, alive or dead, would you like to have with you in the jungle?

I think I would like Gloria from ‘Modern Family’.  Not the actress but Gloria.  I think she is quite possibly the funniest character on earth.  I love her.  A lot.

9. What would scare you about being in the jungle?

The insects.  And being made to eat odd animal bits. Or being buried alive.  Or to eat a banana.

10. After leaving the jungle you go to a luxury hotel.  What would be the first thing you do?

Sell my story for MEGA BUCKS to The News of The World.  Oh, wait….darn.

THE MISSION, should you choose to accept it is to tell why the person who tagged you is a star.

Well, where do I start.  Gemma is the coolest.  Like me she is a working Mum.  Like me she has been made redundant in the past.  Like me she has a wonderful, beautiful boy.  Unlike me she is clever, witty, a fabulous writer and on occasion has made me laugh so hard have sprayed coffee all over the laptop.  I also love that the only thing she has ticked off her Day Zero Project list is ‘eat scallops.’  If you are not following her blog you should be.  Go on.  Go check it out.  Yes now.

Final task. I tag the awesome Mother Venting and the fantabulous Cat from Yellow Days.

NOW GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!