Top five ways to keep your man happy this Christmas.

RELAX MUM, I am not turning the blog all x-rated, deep breaths, there you go. No, we are talking gifts here people.  Man gifts.

If, like me, you struggle every year to find interesting, amusing gifts for himself indoors, and find the ‘FOR HIM’ catalogue section full of gifts that don’t really seem appropriate for anyone under the age of 80 with their faculties intact, never fear.  I am here to help.

I have decided to put together a list of the top five gifts Mr B received over the last twelve months in the hope of giving you some inspiration for this years shopping frenzy.  They are mostly Dad-related but hey, this is a parenting blog after all.  And I PROMISE there is not a comedy-mug in sight.

1. Go The F*ck to Sleep, by Adam Mansbach.

This book was written by Adam Mansbach and was inspired by his 3 year old daughter Vivien.  It is the  most loving, affectionate, gentle yet profane account of the dreaded bedtime routine with a child that won’t sleep.  I defy any parent not to relate to it.  Here is just a snippet…

The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest,

Like the creatures who crawl, run and creep.

I know you’re not thirsty, That’s bullshit, stop lying.

Lie the f*ck down, my darling, and sleep.

Go the f*ck to sleep is available on Amazon for just £5.49.

2. Precious Prints Cufflinks.

Fingerprint jewellery makes a wonderful gift for any parent, dads included.  Precious Prints will send you the easy to use kit to take impressions of your little ones digits which you then mail back to them.  Within a few weeks, hey presto, a gorgeous keepsake for any doting dad.  A pair of cufflinks will set you back £85.  And for the girls there is also a wide range of necklaces, charms, bracelets, rings.   To view the whole range click here.

3.  Darth Vader ‘Who’s Your Daddy?’ T-shirt.

Mr B loved this.  It was bought for him just after W was born and he still wears it loads.  A must-have for any self-respecting Star-Wars-loving daddy.  This, along with a whole array of wonderful T-shirts, is available online from TruffleShuffle for just £27.99.

4. James Hance ‘Wookie The Chew’ prints.

Staying with the Star Wars theme, but mixing it up a bit, brings me to number four.  ‘Wookie The Chew’ is the creation of the fabulous James Hance.  In his unique style he has combined two much loved creations namely Star Wars and Winnie The Pooh.  Below is an example.

This is a print I originally purchased for Mr B but we ended up hanging in W’s nursery.  James is without doubt one of the best young artists I have ever encountered and, in his own words, has a ‘relentlessly cheerful’ style.  He has finally made his work available for purchase in the UK as well as the US, and we should be extremely grateful.  He is a genius.  Go check out his full range at his website here.

5. The Baby Owner’s Manual, Louis Borgenicht M.D., and Joe Borgenicht D.A.D.

This book makes a lovely gift for any new Dad, and a hilarious read for everyone else.  It describes itself as ‘A Beginner’s guide to Newborn Baby Technology’ and is packed with useful advice for the terrified new parent, in the style of a computer/gadget instruction manual.  Here is one of my favourite bits…

Selecting and Installing a Pacifier:

Many users install a pacifier to soothe the baby.  Most models derive great pleasure from sucking a pacifier.  Natural pacifiers include pinkie fingers, knuckles and thumbs.  Artificial pacifiers are made out of latex or silicone molded to look like a bottle’s nipple and are available at retailers worldwide.  Both versions are suitable for all models.  Neither will cause long-term medical or psychological malfunctions.

The Baby Owner’s Manual is available on Amazon for just £6.59

So, there you have it.  My top five gifts to make your man happy this Christmas.  Should that fail to get him in the festive spirit there is one final, fool-proof solution.  As a wise woman once said, to put a smile on his face it is simple really….

….show up naked,  bring beer.

(Sorry Mum.)