"Well I was clucking man. Saw this geezer, blackberry out, city-type, dumbass. Figured I'd 'ave that, right. Hot as you like though. Couldn't shift it. Swapped it with my mate for a bag of C. MAJOR stuff mate. Buzzing so high man got woken by the pigs, face down in a field. Got done with possession." "Shit man." "Shit." "Where did you go man?" "Exeter." "Exeter ain't so bad." "Nah, it was right." "Just got outta Preston." "Preston is awesome man." "Yeah, Preston is the shit man. Not like The Isle of Wight. That nick is shit man. But Preston is the ...
I is for Inquisitive
Overheard: At the Grandparents Child: Mammy what is this? Mum: It's a bacon sandwich. Child: No what is this? *Points to bacon*. Mum: It's bacon. Child: Mammy who made it? Mum: Granny made your sandwich. Child: No Mammy who made the bacon? Mum: A piggy. Child: Mammy who made the piggy? Mum: Another piggy. Child: But who made that piggy? Mum: Piggies make baby piggies, who make other piggies and then we eat them. *DEAFENING silence as we all wait to see where this is going to go next.* Child: Oh. *Eats sandwich*. Related Mum of One posts that you ...
Overheard: In a bar
This happened. For real. In a rather lovely, bit swish, hotel bar. Early evening. Drunk Guy: You look a bit like that one from Blur Waiter: *Politely* Which one Sir? Drunk Guy: The one that looks like you. That's the easiest way to remember it. Waiter: The one who... Drunk Guy: *Interrupts* Like Peter Crouch. You look like Peter Crouch. Waiter: Oh. I'm a bit offended. Drunk Guy's Girlfriend: *Slurs* But you've got a really, really fit wife. Waiter: Except, I haven't. I am not Peter. I don't have a wife. I am eighteen. Drunk Guy: Yeah, you look like ...