After what feels like months, but in reality may have only been weeks, of backwards and crab-like sideways crawling, today my son W, 9 months old, finally found forwards! And I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief….briefly.
I have been getting myself in a real state about these baby milestones. The fact that I signed up to lots of online baby clubs during pregnancy hasn’t helped. Almost daily I seem to receive a mail from one of them helpfully informing me of what I can expect my child to be doing this week. IT IS FREAKING ME OUT. Especially as W is not doing most of them. Is there something wrong with him? With me? Am I not feeding him right or playing with him enough? The questions and anxiety are seemingly endless.
My first proper ‘Mummy-panic’ happened when W was just 2 months. He suddenly changed overnight from his normal happy self to miserable and avoiding all eye contact. I also convinced myself that he was rubbing his face in a strange manner, yes I do know how ridiculous that sounds now, but I was desperate with worry all day. The no eye-contact was terrifying me and I was nearly insane by the time Mr B got home from work. He calmed me down and said we would take him to the GP in the morning, if only to put my mind at rest. I got no sleep that night and did probably the least helpful thing I could do….googled his symptoms. Yes, actually googled baby + no eye contact + strange face rubbing. I kid you not and to any other worried mums out there, NEVER DO THIS! IT IS TERRIFYING. So now convinced that he was either blind, developmentally abnormal or had contracted the deadly Chinese-Goat-Sniffing disease, ok I made that one up, off to the doctors we went. She laughed. At me. And strangely this made me feel much better. Diagnosis: New Mum Neurosis.
Apparently this irrational worrying is something we all, or at least most of us do. Though talking to other Mums doesn’t really help. At least not me. I start to panic if their baby is doing something before mine and have this crazy urge to try and make him practice. He is a baby not a member of the school athletics squad. Or, when W has managed something that their baby hasn’t I find myself lying about it as I don’t want them to feel the panic that I have. It is awful.
So, I am a neurotic new Mum and crawling was a worry. Now he has done it. This revelation occurred just 2 hours ago. So far he has destroyed Daddy’s latest copy of Empire and I have picked him out of the fireplace twice. Be careful what you wish for.
Finally, a little clip of some of W’s speech ‘coaching’ several months ago…
I am still waiting for ‘Mama’.
I know that worry well and it doesn’t go. LT didn’t crawl or move off the spot until 10 months exactly (well he rolled once at 7 months and that was it) we didn’t have any practice crawls, backwards crawls or anything he just sat and played and talked. T crawls backwards, monkey walks backwards and will walk holding our fingers across the room but she only makes one noise which I think maybe her brothers name no other sounds at all apart from laughter… am I worried OF COURSE I would be a mum if I wasn’t – will I let it get to the stage of panic like it did with LT – only time will tell but each baby will do things in their own time and I’ve stopped getting those e-mail notifications as LT never did anything when they said. Apparently at 25 months he should just be recognising 3 basic colours and maybe able to count to 3 if he’s advanced… No one told him this and he can go to 20 and knows all 10 colours and some variations of them including Turquoise as well as naming 5 dinosaurs!!!!!!!!!!!!! But he can’t jump for anything in the world even a chocolate button
LOL! Thank you. You always make me giggle. How about a GIANT chocolate button?!
Ahhh – the pressure! I get all those emails too – but lately, I’ve started ignoring (most of) them. My boy is who he is and he’ll reach his milestones as and when he’s ready. God knows I’ve told that to the in-laws enough times – they seemed to think that he should walk ON his first birthday because my husband and his brother both did. FFS. Oh – and then there’s my mum who thinks I should start potty-training him now (he’s 13 months). And my friend whose baby is two weeks older than mine. I asked her a question the other day, about her son’s something or other – really can’t remember and I got a ‘Well, I haven’t really noticed – because *I* work.’ reply.
Each to their own – the babies will get there in the end 🙂
LOL! It’s daft isn’t it….but I get over one worry and am straight on to the next….so when is he meant to to start walking?!!! 😉
You’ve no need to worry. W is one of the happiest babies I’ve ever met. You’re clearly doing an amazing job! Having said that us mums are biologically programmed to worry so I guess we just have to go with it. x
Oh thank you. Was so lovely to catch up. Must do it again soon and I need to meet T!!!
Haha I can remember googling things about Iyla and coming to the conclusion that she was autistic because she went through a phase of not looking at our face. She was only about 2 months old! And those emails are awful, every week it’s ‘your baby should be doing this now’ which considering they tell you every baby is different is not a very good thing to send out! Ahh he is very cute though, Iyla still says Dada way more than Mama! Typical! xx
Autism was one of the answers to my random google search! Though to be honest by 2 months had thought he was deaf, blind, had meningitis, mumps and whooping cough at one stage or another. Luckily Mr B is slightly less anxious…and more sane. Lyla is BEAUTIFUL, and I know as have seen her #blogcampbristolbabyattendee
It’s ENTIRELY NATURAL to feel like that. You are not alone! And unsubscribe from those emails. They’re poisonous to mummies 😉 To me, W looked like a perfectly happy, sociable little boy and so what if his forward-crawling-technique has only just kicked in? You never know what he might do tomorrow/next week/next month. It is really easy to compare with other parents your child’s capabilities, but that way madness lies. Hearken me: EVERY BABY’S DIFFERENT. Repeat that when the doubts creep in.
*mwah* see you soon X
MWAH back at ya…..Me-Me, meem. mem if you are @catparrott. 🙂
Those worries NEVER go away. Mine are now 17,17, and 13, and I still worry. I expect I always will:)
I am not sure if that is good or bad news?! For now it makes me feel less mad, thank you lovely ladies x
Oh how I can relate to your post. Little A is now 20 months and I am still totally neurotic. Your lovely baby sounds totally fine to mine …… and don’t pay any attention to those sites – BAD NEWS.
I know. I was sent another one this morning called “Five signs to tell if your baby is normal”. Deleted without reading this time! Am learning. Thanks for linking up x
Yay congrats on the crawling! I worried about J from time to time when he seemed ‘behind’ in one way or another, but it’s definitely best to ignore all the silly ‘what your baby should be able to do this week’ emails. My mum is a lecturer in child care – she trains nursery nurses – and while there are indeed developmental stages, the first thing she teaches is that every child is different, and there’s almost always nothing to worry about.
Thank you. I know you you are right but do get myself in a pickle about it now and again. There seems to be no stopping him now though!
Ahhh it is always the way, you can’t wait for them to be on the move then when they are you wish they would stay still!! My first walked at 9 months – just got up and went. My 2nd is nearly 11 months now and is showing no signs of walking yet, I paniced over everything with my first reading all the emails and milestones that they ‘should have reached’ and this time round have compared everything to my first and then paniced even more!! Insane really but I think we all do it! 🙂 x
Oh he is gorgeous! Love the video clip! It’s true that all babies and children are unique and we all put ourselves under huge pressure, worrying that they ought to be doing things at certain times. I am a big believer that they all develop at different times and they all catch up in the end. We should all stop worrying and enjoy them!