I feel like I am over-glamourising you here. You sound bit like a Musketeer. You’re not. Obviously. But Brexiter, like Brexit, is so ugly…
How are you feeling today dude? Pretty happy I guess, as there is much to celebrate…oh wait.
The pound and FTSE have tanked. Did you get your holiday currency out before you placed your vote? You little scamp you. I’m sure all the small businesses in this country, and those who have effectively seen their wages just halve, will be most relieved.
Oh and now we can negotiate freely and PROPERLY with Europe to make sure we get our own way. Yep negotiating is much easier from the outside and I’m sure that they can’t wait to have a chat. They have NO REASON AT ALL to want to crush us economically now. They won’t think it’s a great idea not to give in to our demands and make an example of us as a warning to the French. So that’s ok too. (Oh, by the way, Marie Le Pen is delighted for us, WEHEY. Nothing like pleasing the far right eh?)
Oh and didn’t it just make you smile to hear a member of the Great British public congratulating a sickeningly smug looking Farage on changing the face of Europe. Farage. You helped Farage change the face of Europe. Oh and the fact that £350 million he promised for the NHS isn’t actually there, never mind. Don’t sweat it dude. You didn’t just privatise the NHS on your own, you had plenty of help. A responsibility shared and all that. No reason to lose any sleep.
Ooh, ooh and we get to elect a new prime minister, that’s always fun. Oh no wait, 150 000 tories will get to elect a new prime minister. How terribly fair.
Now Scotland are delighted that you handed them the chance to finally leave Britain for good. It’s pretty cold in Scotland, am sure it won’t matter so please, don’t let it worry you.
Oh and the Irish. Isn’t it JUST BRILLIANT that you can now get your passport stamped every time you cross between North and South. I love a good passport stamp. And the fact that they are only just coming out of one of the most horrible recessions and political tensions were already running high…this is bound to help.
And the Brexiteer baby boomer, an extra special thanks to you. Really. Having enjoyed a lifetime of free university education, free health care, the ability to move freely and visit wonderful historical sites, to choose where you wish to live and to holiday cheaply you have decided this should not be available to the younger generation. I bet your grandchildren will be round to thank you really soon. They are never going to ask you to explain why you have worsened their entire future…that would be rude. Oh and the 16 year olds who, despite paying their taxes and being most affected by your decision, weren’t allowed to vote. Did you consider them at all? Oh good.
Oh, and it doesn’t matter that none of the three VOTE LEAVE leaders weren’t accepting any questions today. They’re bound to have a plan. You wouldn’t have voted for NO plan. I’m sure they will tell us all about it really soon. Really. Soon. Probably just keeping us in suspense for fun eh?
So Brexiteer, I wish you well.
No, I’m not cross at all.