I am joining in with Ranty Friday over at Her Magnificence Mummy Barrow’s blog today. I am not sure of the rules? Are there rules? I think it is perhaps just a good excuse for us all to collectively have a bit of a rant.
That I can do.
Having just spent half of the morning in front of C-Beebies, unsurprisingly perhaps, my ranty levels are at an all time high.
So here you have it. My first Ranty Friday. My subject matter…….kids TV presenters.
Let me start with Mister Maker. For the uninitiated amongst us, (Oh, how I envy you.) Mister Maker is a maniacal crafty chap who travels about to kids houses and ‘helps them’ make art. Only he doesn’t. Not only does he NOT help them he doesn’t even let them help him. He does it all himself while they watch on from the sidelines. If they are really lucky he might let them stir the paint. Seriously, the guy is a control freak.
Moving swiftly on…Chris and Pui.
He is just so simpery. The guy is positively soggy. The “Please, please, please come back and see us.” at the end made me want to vomit. And PLEASE will somebody buy Pui a pair of jeans that aren’t six inches too long for her legs. How hard can it be?
And rounding up my Ranty Friday, it can only be Justin a.k.a Mr Tumble.
I cannot tell you the response that floats through my head when I hear those words, “It’s time to sign…” and the hand gestures would certainly not be appropriate for his usual channel.
But what do they all have in common?
It is simply not normal to smile that much. Have you tried? I did. It actually hurts. It is not possible to smile that much if you are a normal person. These are not normal people. Trust me. I work with the general public. They DO NOT smile that much.
I have decided they must be a very ‘special’ breed of person, the kids TV presenter.
And I am sure they do not, absolutely NOT, ever, ever, ever have S-E-X.
And here endeth the rant.
I hope I didn’t break too many rules.
Disclosure: I have never met any of the afore-mentioned people who are probably quite normal, do not really smile that much, and I am perhaps just a bit of a grumpy cow today.
Yes I get this- they smile like they are on crack. And they give kids a sense of warped false reality – that there are adults who just smile like freaks ALL DAY LONG – and it just doesn’t happen!!!!
I know. I would be terrified if I met an adult who did LOL!
They are just not normal! No one is that happy, and to be honest all that cheerfulness just freaks me out, I’d like them more if once in a while they had a crappy day, like the rest of us!
I wonder if they are secretly all really miserable off screen. I would love to be a fly on the wall in their staff room.
Petit Mom says
I must admit Justin’s big insane grin does scare me and I really don’t like Gigglebizz. As for Mister Maker I too noticed how he never lets the kid he’s gone to meet do anything apart from maybe pick up a tube of paint for him. Also he cheats when tidying up when he’s at home, he simply puts his house into a box…. THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TIDY UP!
It infuriates me when the poor little mites probably thought they were going to get to do something fun!
Claire Louise says
Read as I sit her having to watch such crap lol. Toddler is loving it while I’m becoming depressed. However this made me laugh… And no its not possible to smile that much. Lastly show me show me is the stuff of nightmares… For me anyhow! I swear she’s always preggers in it.
Oh Claire, you have my deepest sympathy. Hang in there. It will be bedtime eventually 😉
I have to say I like Chris and I like Justin (and I won’t tell you what I would like to do with Dr Ranj) but I really, really think that Alex, Ceri and Pui need to be buried in a big hole and take a long hard look at themselves. Have you heard Ceri trying to Moo? It is the least convincing cow ever. Look at the letters woman, its spelt M-O-O. Pui needs to put on some heels and Alex needs to get some of that stuff that Ranj and I would be up to if only I had him alone for a hour!
*Collapses in a giggling heap*
Michael Cargill says
I bet they don’t shit either.
I long for the days of Andy Crane and Philip Schofield, back when it was socially acceptable for kid’s presenters to get naked and stuff.
Ah, the good old days…….eh?
I’ve met Justin, he came to the special needs school I did some nursing at. He was so lovely and nice to the kids, that I can forgive him his annoying grin, and for Gigglebiz. The rest however,I want to smack! The one from Iconicles, apparently loads of us Mum’s fancy him, but for the life of me I can’t think why?? 😮
Do they really? But he looks about twelve?
I know! Way too young for me! I distinctly remember a whole bunch of Mum’s on Twitter raving on about how lovely he was and that they fancied him! Weird!
Bibsey Mama (@BibseyMama) says
Love the disclaimer x
Perhaps not my cheeriest of moments 😉
Kim Carberry says
I can’t stand the Cbeebie presenters….They are probably very nice people but do they always have to be so happy!!! It’s like they’ve had to much coffee & happy pills…lol
I know. I think we should mug them. Although all that happiness looks exhausting.
Mummy Barrow says
ahhhhh. I am so pleased my kids are now teenagers and immune to all of these.
And as for Ranty Friday. Nope, there are no rules. Or people would rant about the stupid rules. Or are people ranting silently about the lack of rules?
Phew! I am a reluctant rule breaker. I just had a huge row with my husband for turning right at a ‘no right turn’ junction even though there wasn’t another car in sight. I am a good girl. Honest.
The Fool says
Thankfully we have managed to steer Matilda away from all these shows so far, Raa Raa is pretty much my limit. You do wonder if they go home and just cry to themselves to balance off all the smiling
I think they must. No-one can be that happy can they?
I’ve seen Chris and Pui live and then spent the next hour discussing whether he has to be gay to be that much of a wet lettuce.
He really is soggy. I keep wanting to shout ‘stand up straight!’ when he appears!
Actually Mummy... says
Imagine what wine o clock must be like though in their houses after a full day of fake smiling at other people’s kids!